LTBc for Jokes.

@imherenow I've been clocking and storing jokes since I was 7. I have jokes of many flavors and age levels. For a fair amount of LTBc or BTC I will pm you a joke in the requested sense of humor. I have original material from my days of Amateur stand up if you are looking for stage acts. Or even jokes for your conference of other creative content you are putting together. If you wish to hold exclusivity the price is much higher, but I will respect this style of transaction and refrain from using that material or re-selling it. You may also pay for a joke to be told to the community in public, if you are feeling generous. I look forward to spreading some joy around this community, fore I am here now.

I like people like you that can think outside the box. How much do you accept per joke?

I have been away for awhile, but I am very glad to see interest in my comedy. I will try to respond in order.

Please forgive any formatting issues as I am not always the best with forum etiquette.

@swindledarrel How many jokes do you have in hand ?

I have a lot, like I said I have been storing jokes in my head since I was little. There are so many in there, sometimes its hard to pull them on command in real life. But, it never ceases to amaze me how some tiny word or phrase will knock loose a joke from over a decade ago. I will tell you the story of my first joke. (True story)

 When I was a kid, growing up in Texas. My grandparents had owned a bunch of land before I was born, but had sold the acreage surrounding their home to a golf course with the agreement that the course build a lake near their house. So my entire childhood my grandparents lived in a golf course. As a family activity we would walk with our grandmother early in the morning. (actually one of my favorite childhood memories) on these walks we would pick up found golf balls. All of us grandkids, cousins and such, built a golf ball stand out of a red wagon. We would sit out on the edge of our land and sell golf balls back to the golfers. ($.50 each or $5 a dozen)  Just to make kid level money. 
  Well, one day a golfer tee'd off and while he was climbing in his cart he asked me if I had any jokes, if I did he would buy a ball. At that time I had none, so I told him no. to which he responded, "If you're going to be a salesman, you have to have jokes. I'll give you one for free." Now, keep in mind this was a joke for a 7 year old. The golfer asked, " What do you find up a clean nose?" I answered "I don't know." "Finger Prints" was the punch line!

I remember thinking that that man was right and I needed to start remembering some jokes. To this day I give that man props every time I go on stage, because he truly was a person that affected the course of my life.

So short answer to your question is I have a bunch, from grade school kiddy jokes to dirty jokes, long jokes, short jokes, dumb jokes, intelligent jokes, and everything in between. In person It's a little easier to have them tell me a joke so I can gauge what kind of humor they have and respond in kind. I have found that some of my "ice breaker" jokes tend to be simple and silly. And some people count you off if you come with a joke that doesn't fit them.

@rob 1) Do you have much in the way of Bitcoin/cryptocurrency humor? I have a prime domain that could be used for that (idea being that the site would be a regular source of crypto-humor, that would theoretically monetize through advertising).

2) Will you give examples of your jokes, to help sell your ability to bring humor our way? I'm just saying, most artists or writers (etc.) who want to be hired will show some examples of their work.

1) I do not have any Bitcoin/cryptocurrency jokes. But I do like that idea, it seems as though it would have been obvious. I will try to workshop some jokes for that. I only worry that some of the material might only apply to a select tech savvy group, but I guess that anyone looking for crypto jokes would already be in the know. So, as I said I will try to workshop some jokes.

2) As I stated in my answer to SwindleDarrel, its hard to tell what kinds of things will make a person laugh, so I start with the silly/simple jokes and gauge if they want more complicated jokes. So here are a few off the top of my head. I'll try to leave out the really stupid jokes.

Silly: (Q) How did the butcher introduce his wife? (A) Meat Patty. {as in "Meet Patty"} (short joke = .008542 BTC or LTBC equivalent [4 USD])

Dirty/historical-ish: One Roman is speaking with another, and he asks, "So, do you think you'll ever go back to Greece?" To which the second roman responds, "No, I think I'll stick with KY" (short joke = .008542 BTC or LTBC equivalent [4 USD])

( I never thought to classify this one):

A traveling sales man goes to Metropolis for a convention. That evening he is sitting in an upscale high rise bar. While he is there chatting it up with the bartender a local hears him say he is from out of town. So the local turns to him and sparks up a conversation. And after some time he explains to him that due to the layout of the buildings, when the wind comes gusting in from over the ocean the buildings focus it into an abnormally strong current going straight up. The salesman isn't convinced so both the local and the salesman walk over to a window and open it. The local makes a paper airplane and throws it straight down the side of the building. It falls, and falls, and falls, then about a few stories down it glides out away from the building makes a U-turn and flies straight back up and right back into the window. The local then goes on to explain that the winds are so strong that they can actually support a full grown man. Well, the salesman be of skeptical mindset doesn't believe him. The local then says, "Watch" and proceeds to jump out the window in a swan dive. The man falls, and falls, and falls, and sure enough, a few floors down the man flies away from the side of the building and u-turns then flies straight back up and right back in the window. Even lands feet first. "See." says the local. The salesman cant wait to try this exciting new experience, So he jumps out the window into a perfect swan dive straight down the side of the building. He falls, and falls, and falls, and falls, and falls some more until.....SPLAT!!!!! He hits the ground and dies. The bartender walks over to the local, pats him on the back and says, "SUPERMAN, you really have a dark sense of humor you son of a bitch." (Medium length = .01282 BTC or LTBC equivalent [6 USD])

This one is from one of my stand up/stage sets:

Some guys always brag about everything to do with sex. But there are some things you never hear a guy saying, like, "Oh! After me.... That bitch couldn't close her hand for like a week!" (Original stage jokes = .02568 BTC or LTBC equivalent [12 USD] Price is quadrupled if you'd like to own the rights to a stage joke, under this option I will no longer perform them onstage or sell them ever again. As you would own the joke.)

So there are a few off the top of my head jokes. But like I said I have more, I would just have to wait for them to get sparked.

These prices are just rough ideas for a fair price, all are negotiable and the prices are subject to feed back from other posters as to whether the prices are too high or low. The way I would like to see this work is a person offering X for a joke and based on that I would select a joke to give them they could have the option to have a private joke sent to them or a joke to be made public. Prices listed are to have a joke PM'd to you. (Private joke transaction) If you're feeling generous you could pay twice as much to have the joke posted in this forum thread for all to see. (Public Joke transaction, this option costs more because it gives the joke to the untold numbers who read it.) If the payee has heard the joke before I am willing to tell them a bonus joke to try and give them a new one. In hopes of the payee not feeling ripped off.

@meadefreling

I like people like you that can think outside the box. How much do you accept per joke?

Thank you for the compliment!! I will accept any and every thing for my jokes, but the way I would like to have this work is you can offer any amount in BTC or LTBC and I will give you a joke that I consider in that price range. "Private" PM'd jokes are cheaper than "public" forum posted jokes. Original jokes made by me cost a little more for both Private or public jokes, and cost 4X as much if you wish to own the rights to an original joke. ( Jokes in which you purchase the rights will be PM'd to you, and from there you own it and can decide to post it or not. Hell, sell it to a professional comedian for all I care.) There are a few examples of pricing on some of the above typed jokes.

@xsosxhawkens

Also like and would be willing to help (in any way I could) the idea of a cryptocoin comedy club, we need one :)

I'm not sure if a whole crypto comedy club would fly, but another idea might be to organize a few comedians with crypto material together and take over a stand up comedy night or something. Comedian flash mob style! :-D

@melisande I love to hear you have joke, that sound impressing can not wait to hear how much i should offer you per joke.

I put up a few sample jokes ( nothing special ) I hope they at least make you smile. That's my whole point here. It's more about making people smile than making money. But it would be nice to end up being a joke Writer for some Hollywood types! ( A guy can dream)

And as to how much you should offer... offer what you want, just remember you get what you pay for. But I wont stop you from offering upwards of 1000 USD or if you want to go balls to the wall, 1,000,000 USD!!!!!!!! For 1,000,000 USD I would tell you every joke I've ever heard and every joke I will ever hear as I hear them, for the rest of my life!!!! ( Mega Deluxe Package :-D)

So I hope this has helped clear things up and give you an idea of what I was thinking. I just figured this was a good way to me to help create content for the LTB Network!!!

I look forward to spreading some laughter all across the world.

Peace out, Im_here_now

*Edited because of a quoting error. Then re-edited to include this statement. :-)

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